It is important to distinguish between opinion and judgment. Opinions open us up, judgments close us down.

Most of us understand that when we judge someone, or someone judges us, it is a negative emotional experience. As a result, we naturally want to avoid being judgmental, but this gets confusing when we feel we have to suppress thoughts that could actually be offering us guidance. For example, we may meet someone new and suppress a negative feeling about them, thinking that we don’t want to fall into the trap of being judgmental. Later, though, it may turn out that paying attention to that thought could have helped us take care of ourselves or someone else.

It is important to learn to distinguish inner guidance, and having an opinion, from judgment, otherwise we run the risk of not listening to our intuition and not allowing ourselves to form opinions. Inner guidance and opinions both help us to interact more intelligently in the world, so we don’t want to throw them out in an effort to avoid being judgmental. Our intuition usually makes itself known to us in a flash, and often has a physical component—a flutter in our stomachs, sweaty palms, or a chill. When we use this information to help us navigate a situation, we always benefit. Similarly, having an opinion about a person or an idea allows us to converse about it in a focused way with intention. Listening to our intuition and forming opinions are both positive outcomes of our ability to interpret the information that comes our way.

When we make a judgment, on the other hand, we attempt to have a final say on whether someone or something is inherently good or bad. Judgments close us down instead of opening us up; opinions have a lighter quality and are amenable to change. Once a judgment has been made, there is no more conversation or consideration, whereas opinions invite further debate. Intuition guides us from moment to moment, but, unlike judgment, never makes a final decree. In other words, it is only healthy to be open to the information we receive and to allow ourselves to process that information. As long as we stay open and fluid, we can trust that we have not fallen prey to the trap of judgment.

This was originally a DailyOM article

I like the I-ching for listening to the Universe to try and understand what the bigger picture is.
Sometimes it just doesn’t make sense how people behave or why you are being put in a situation.
Doing an I-ching reading can help you stop stressing and you can see what lesson you are meant to be learning.

The answer to your question, “who is the one with the problem?” is:

34. Ta Chuang – The Power of the Great

— —
— — above Chên The Arousing, Thunder
—–
—–
—– below Ch’ien The Creative, Heaven
—–

Changing yang in the third place means:
The inferior man works through power.
The superior man does not act thus.
To continue is dangerous.
A goat butts against a hedge
And gets its horns entangled.

Changing yang in the fourth place means:
Perseverance brings good fortune.
Remorse disappears.
The hedge opens; there is no entanglement.
Power depends upon the axle of a big cart.

Changing yin in the fifth place means:
Loses the goat with ease.
No remorse.

Changing yin at the top means:
A goat butts against a hedge.
It cannot go backward, it cannot go forward.
Nothing serves to further.
If one notes the difficulty, this brings good fortune.

This reading helped to stop me worrying about things this morning and let me get on with my work. The goat being entangled stuff is great, e.g. The power struggles in relationships that can waste our time. “Power depends upon the axle of a big cart.” I think this means that people can be like two big wheels bumping into each other and they need an axle to harness the power positively. This could be starting a family or a joint creative project that both can independently put their initiative and effort into from their own side. Without something big like this to independently channel their energy into people can often just end up tripping over each other’s egos.

The journey continues ...

For me this journey of change and spiritual development has been continuing apace here in Bali. I think there is a lot of energy here and acceptance that we all need to do this work to free our spirits to their true calling. I have come to realize that people are sensitive to where one is coming from and that I have been quite self-centered in my communications to date. This has been reflected back to me by a friend, so I am going to look at the fundamental energy of where my centre of gravity is from now on and where I am actually coming from, but of course its a realignment and will take time to manifest, once that subtle change of reference point is made. The buddhists say “climb down from the mountain of Self and climb the mountain of Other.” So many other things are going on, but needless to say its all good!

There is an inspiring free book online called The Art of Allowing. I recommend reading the text at your own speed rather than playing the video.

I was looking at some spiritual books on line to see if I can get them on my iPad and it seems that lots of my faves are not available in Asia – not sure why not. thought I would list them here in case any of you want some good references (see below).

How to Solve our Human Problems – Geshe Kelsan Gyatso

Food for the Heart: The Collected Teachings of Ajahn Chah

A Still Forest Pool: The Insight Meditation of Ajahn Chah

Mindfulness, Bliss, and Beyond: A Meditator’s Handbook

Stillness Speaks – Eckhart Tolle

Practising the Power of Now – Ekhart Tolle

Grace Unfolding: The Art of Living a Surrendered Life – Paul Ferrini

The Ecstatic Moment – Paul Ferrini

Dancing with the Beloved – Paul Ferrini

There comes a time for all of us in which we lose our sense of purpose. Life seems stale or meaningless, or perhaps we feel overwhelmed by all the pressures in our life. When times like this come, it helps to leave our routine and enter a quest to re-discover the motivating vision of our lives. That vision is ever changing as we grow, achieve our goals, and establish new priorities. Yet there is an aspect of that vision which does not change. It is the essence of who we are and what our life is about.

When we are aware of our essence and able to act on it consistently, we feel energised and sustained. But nobody is able to do this all the time. It is all too easy to become involved in the dramas of other people and forget why we are here. when we forget for a long time, something rises up within us and says “Enough! This won’t work any longer.” When that moment comes, the vision quest has begun.

When you begin your vision quest, you do not know where you are going. That is the nature of the quest. So don’t hang on to a routine that isn’t working just because you don’t know where to go. Of course you don’t know. That is the whole point.

You can do you vision quest in your living room if your living room is a nurturing place away from the stresses and routines of your existence. But most people find it helpful to go to an inspirational place. Wherever you go, choose a place that will feed your soul and allow plenty of time for silent reflection.

Understand that your journey is a spiritual one and that everything that happens to you on your quest is significant. Even if you don’t understand the meaning of chance events and encounters right away, you will have insights later. So be open and receptive. Take risks. Invite possibilities. Trust your hunches and intuition. Explore. Have fun. Don’t plan any more than you absolutely have to. Allow plenty of room for spontaneity.

Walk through the open doors even though you don’t know where they lead. Stay away from the closed doors even though you think there’s something behind them you want or you need.

Be in the flow of your life without expectations. If you let go, you will be guided donwstream. If you resist and swim upstream, you will find yourself very frustrated, but that is perhaps what you most need to learn: that you can’t control your life at the ego level. until your ego loosens its hold on your life, you might get your feet wet, but the rest of your body won’t experience the river. To know the river and be guided by its current, you must stop trying to control what happens to you.

A vision quest should last for at least a week, but a month or even a year might be appropriate. you’ll know how long you need. When you do self communion rituals on an ongoing basis, taking a week to ten days once a year is usually fine. But when you have been lost in the same routine for twenty years, you might need a full year for your vision quest. Some people call this a sabbatical. But that suggests you are coming back to the same routine. When you go on a vision quest, you have no idea where you are coming back to. You just know you have to leave.

When you return from your quest, you will have a strong intuition about what your life purpose is and how you can begin to honour it in the moment. Don’t worry if you only know what step one is. That is all most people know. The other steps will reveal themselves as you learn to trust your guidance and begin to walk the path of your heart.

Excerpt from “the ecstatic moment – a practical manual for opening your heart and staying in it” by paul ferrini, heartways press, ISBN 1-879159-18-X

Seeing the full moon at Petronas Towers last night reminded me of how powerful the influence of the Moon is in our astrolgical chart. I’m having a look at this Moon – Venus aspect in my own Natal chart (see below) as I think its something to address on my spiritual journey. I don’t quite understand what it means by “inner character” though, so I welcome your comments on this.

Moon Square Venus

You need affection very much, and you will go out of your way to get it. By being very friendly and charming, you make others like you, but if you do this too much, you will not develop a very strong character. You must learn that your merits and flaws exist independently of what others see in you. You are not the product of what other people see, but of your own inner energies.

On the other hand, part of you is really very loving, affectionate and kind. You can make the people around you feel very good. If you take the trouble to develop your inner character, people will like you for what you really are. You will also have to develop some self-discipline about giving in to all your desires for pleasure. You could damage your health by drinking and eating for pleasure without considering good nutrition.

This idea was first expressed to me by Alan Denman of Stinging Bull Films in Los Angeles – I met Alan and his partner Ayesha Walker whilst waiting for my US visa and I now conclude that I went to the embassy specifically to meet them, rather than to get a visa. I found the above schematic which seems to capture the essence of it on the web site of an old friend of mine, Maddy Harland who is responsible for bringing permaculture into many people’s lives.